Wow, God.

I just really needed to say that again.

Lord, I really am completely amazed by you... I want to soak in this forever.

2010 years ago, Jesus changed the world. Turns out, he's still doing it to this day. And I feel it.

Spiritual Emphasis Week.

WOW. That's about all I have to say.

God has really been working through people this week... Everyone. I feel like almost everyone has had something to say or has heard God speak to them and it's been really neat. I know He's talked to me a lot this week and it has been truly amazing. I can't wait to see what God has in store. I really hope that some people are just completely changed by this week.

Some things I've heard spoken to me... Either that I've heard myself or that other people have told me.

-To talk to someone.

-To be brave for Him.

-I am beautiful.

-I am intelligent.

-I am HIS.

-I am a lovely lover.

-Something with nature... I have yet to discover what, and am very excited to do so.

It has been so crazy-good for me. I can't wait for the retreat thing next week and I hope there will be even more crazy-great God times with Him moving in people and (hopefully!) in me. I feel like this week my love for people and helping them has really been strengthened.

Again, wow. This week has just been... Wow.

Connected.

So there's this guy. A guy I just so happened to like for eight years (no longer, though... I've liked two other guys since him and those few are the only ones so far)... Anyway, that's not what's important.

I don't know what it is... But I feel like my heart is still linked with his. Not in a romantic way, I don't feel like that towards him anymore. But in some other sort of way. I don't know. I mean, it's kind of really hard to explain. But I was thinking about it during church tonight... I looked at him and just felt grieved. Over the fact that we're no longer friends, we no longer talk, that I miss being his friend. I don't know. He could make such a huge difference if he put his mind to it, I know it. He has so much potential stored within him. And maybe that's why my heart cries out to him.

I've tried to connect with him again, but he doesn't seem too interested. And I don't see him much, just on Sundays and Wednesdays if we both happen to be there.

I can't put my finger on it yet, but... I still feel like something might happen between us. Maybe our friendship will be rekindled, maybe God has a plan, maybe maybe maybe. I hope. For now, I'll be in the dark and confused, with my heart crying over him.

Dream

Last night.... I had this totally amazing dream. I was getting married. Literally, right in the process of it.
I was walking down the aisle... Towards this wonderful man... Surprisingly, if I remember correctly he was the tall dark and handsome type; I've never really pictured myself with that kind of guy. Hey, not complaining though ;) Anyway. And we were in a castle, with nobody else. I'm not sure if there was literally nobody there, or if love just had me blinded to everyone but him... Either way, we were completely alone.
And my wedding dress! Oh my word! It was GORGEOUS. Plain white, no adornments at all... A long train... Sort of pulled across the front (I like to use the word fooshed)... In the back it plunged down and the opening had straps that pulled across, sort of like shoelaces in a shoe... Strapless... And so beautiful. I actually looked gorgeous in it (I never look gorgeous!)!
And let me tell you, I was positively BEAMING. It literally looked like I was subtly glowing with light... I was that happy.
That dream made me so happy... I can't wait for when that day comes.

What God gave me is just fine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq86e4Fhja0&feature=channel

AMAZING song. Love it.

And so true... Which is exactly why I love it so much. Working on getting that message pounded into my head.... :)

Bare

I just realized something tonight. There is a time when I tend to feel closer to God... More loved by him... That feeling where you can totally FEEL that He is actually real, actually there, and He actually cares.

When is this time? When I'm at my "worst." That time of night when all the makeup (which I've started to slowly wear more and more of) comes off, the hair goes back, the comfy pajamas (with the torn up sweat pant bottoms and huge top) come on... When all my "flaws" are showing, I look terrible... I have this like connection to God at this time.

Maybe I inwardly realize at times like these that God loves me, He accepts me, even when I'm at my worst. That He loves it when I take all my outward adornment off and become comfortable with Him. I want that all the time. I want to be comfortable with God, at all times.

So, maybe for awhile I go without makeup. Without worrying over what clothes make me look good. I'll just have some time to be comfortable and bare with God... Even if it means everyone else thinks I look terrible.

Because maybe I don't care what they think.

Eee!!

I'M AN AUNT!!!