My word!

Okay, I just have some venting I need to do about guys.

They are just JERKS! Seriously, my experience with them so far has no evidence against that. My word, sometimes I just want to scream at them!

I sit and watch as they break a girl's heart. I see them play with a girl's emotions like they're some sort of toy! They ask people out on dares, or bet on them while playing basketball. Are they all really this heartless?!

I mean, I believe that my husband is out there and he doesn't act like that. At least he won't when he's with me. But is he like the only one who is like that?!

I'm just sick of guys and their antics.

Hurting

I hate pain. Both emotional and physical and not only in myself, but much more in others.

I really hate seeing people hurting. I hate to see people distressed and fatigued and barely pulling through life. It hurts me when I see people hurt. Sometimes I'll stay up late into the night, crying and praying over those that are hurting and in need of help. My heart literally hurts and goes out to those in trouble...

I wish I could help the world. I want to make that pain go away... Or at least soothe it. I wish people knew I would always be there for them. Even if I don't like them, or we're not friends, even if we barely speak or have never spoken. Honestly, I don't care; I just want to help them. I want to take away all the pain, hurt, sadness, anger, etc. in the world. Desperately.

Wonderful

Lately, I've been looking to Jesus for more than religion. I've been looking to Him for comfort, friendship, love. Instead of seeing Him as a God, I see Him as more of a friend. He wants to help me with everything and I've been trying to see that more. To see that He is the only friend that will be in my life forever, who will never leave me or hurt me. The only best friend who will never let me down, like the other people in my life always do and will. To see him also as the lover I've longed for so many times and for so long. He is the lover of my soul and I want to see Him as that. So much of my time I have spent wanting to be loved, wanting to have a boyfriend. A guy who loves me so much and a guy to love. Since nobody else seems to want that with me, I've been seeing Christ as that person. I've been searching His being for that love. And he is, of course, also the only being that will never leave me. He is like... the ultimate boyfriend. And I have Him!

It's kind of a crazy thought, but I've been getting there. I've been seeing Him more and more as such. Which is amazing... Seeing Him intimately is really too amazing to describe. I literally sit there and talk to God! He doesn't always say a whole lot back, but I like it. It's not like prayer, it's just like talking to a friend. I tell Him about me (as if He doesn't already know everything), I tell Him how amazing He is... We just talk. And the little things He does for me... They put me more and more in awe of Him.

Life with God is truly wonderful.

Utterly speechless!

"I don't know what I did to deserve someone like this in my life: getting a cat stuck out of a tree, being nice to my siblings, or whatever deed it was. All I know is that I'm glad it happened, because I couldn't, nor would I want to, picture my life without my best friend. My hero. My Bella. Hello, world."

Those words literally left me speechless. That is the most special thing I have heard in a LONG time! My word! This is the first time in a very long time that I have been literally speechless! I'm surprised I'm not crying my eyes out.

Thank you my dear Danielley.

Gone With the Wind

Okay, just some things I want to say.

First of all, pretty sure that Ashley Wilkes is my soulmate. I wish he were real and I wish he was my age! And went to my school! And was in love with me! Who needs Edward Cullen? He's gross. I want Ashley Wilkes, all the way.... Who cares if he has a girl name? It sounds masculine after you get used to reading it with him. haha :) But seriously, he's my fictional counterpart. He loves reading, writing, is gentlemanly, has a Southern accent, writes poems, etc... Basically, he's amazing.

I also am amazed by Melanie Wilkes (his wife)... She is AMAZING. Seriously... She always sees the best in people, she's courageous, she's sweet, she's innocent, she's motherly, she's strong... My favorite thing about her is that she sees the best in everyone and in every situation. I really admire that. I really want to be like that... I hate that now I always analyze things and don't trust people and stuff. I wish I could be like Melly and think that everyone is always doing right and that they're all great people. I wish I could be as innocent and naive as her. I wish I could always be seeing the good things. I really do! Oh, Melly. I wish I was like you! So caring and kind and loving and innocent and sweet and honest and good... I'm jealous. haha

Hello World!

Hello World!

My new little life-saying thingy.

It helps me stay sane. It helps remind me that the world is to be explored, that life is an adventure. Life is for living. Hello World reminds me to embrace the world and everything that happens in my life; the good and the bad. When bad things happen, Hello World reminds me to accept them. To grieve for a little, but quickly move on and let life come back into me. It reminds me to take joy in all the little things (which I already do, but forget to do sometimes).

I don't want to be the kind of person who has something bad happen to them and just sits on their butt and cries and is useless. Who doesn't want to do anything because their "life is over." The kind of person who gets too caught up in the past and forgets to notice what's going on around them and to think about the hopeful future. I want to be the kind of person who follows Dr. Seuss's advice- "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." I want to be the kind of person who still looks at the others around them and is concerned with them, even when they are hurting.

Hello World reminds me of all this and more. So...

Hello World!

"A picture's worth a thousand words."

True in so many ways. And, as a friend pointed out to me, you can often find patterns in photographs. In the photographs people take. It can tell you a lot... If you just think about it and notice the patterns. Too bad those patterns can be pretty discouraging.

Something that stuck out to me...

"Have you ever felt like when you talked to someone it's like everything you say to them goes in one ear and out the other?

When you want to tell them the most exciting news in the world and they just bring the entire conversation back to themselves?

When you would describe their attempts as, "Pathetic?"

When you think that you would rather listen to anything else than their current obsession?

When someone asks you who they are, and you can't descibe them like how you used to?

When they let things go too far.

When they seem blind to everything around them, unless it's a mirror.




When they're gone.
Forever."

(quoted from dmay-untouchable.blogspot.com)

3.

1 or 2.

3.

3.

Maybe things just don't add up...

To All the Guys Out There:

Maybe I don't have the perfect body; I don't have the right butt, big boobs, rock-hard abs, long legs, or whatever else you want. Maybe my face isn't the right shape for you, or my eyes are too small or the wrong color. Maybe I don't have long, flirty eyelashes. Maybe my lips are thin and unkissable. Maybe my hair is out of place, or not cut right, or I have split ends, or I was too lazy to do something with it. Maybe my clothes don't always match perfectly, or I don't look nice in them.

Maybe I don't throw myself at you. Maybe I don't wear low-cut, see-through shirts and short skirts. Maybe I don't flirt shamelessly with you because maybe I don't know how. Maybe I don't find it necessary to have a guy at all times. Maybe I'm okay with having guys as just friends. Maybe I don't assume that every guy likes me.

Maybe you don't think I'm date-able. Maybe you don't think I'm good enough for you. Maybe you think I'm the little-sister-type. Maybe you don't think I have feelings. Maybe I'm unlovable. Maybe you're intimidated.

Maybe I respect myself. Maybe I don't want to sleep around and I want to save myself for my husband. Maybe I have high standards and you simply don't fit them because you're not good enough. Maybe I know I'm worth better. Maybe I'm mature enough to not need a boyfriend. Maybe I have my priorities straight. Maybe you're not good enough for me. Maybe I think I'm worth something more.

Maybe that means that I don't let you grab my butt. Maybe that means I don't touch yours. Maybe that means I don't feel the need to seduce you. Maybe that means I don't let you treat me like a harlot. Maybe that means I'm waiting to find a guy who respects me. Maybe you need the physical side to a relationship, but maybe I don't. Maybe that means you shouldn't check me out. Maybe I respect you enough not to tempt you.

Maybe I realize that God has someone out there specifically designed for me. Maybe I realize my husband is out there. Maybe I want to save myself fully for him. Maybe I'd rather wait for him than deal with you.

Maybe I'm not like other girls.

Tenth Avenue North

What can I say? This band rocks my socks. Truly ah-maz-ing. I've been listening to them a lot lately and have been falling more and more in love with their music. Seriously, some of their songs are so perfect. My favorite song by them? Beloved. It's probably because God speaks to me so much through that song. And it ties in with a lot of things... Let's just say, I've been learning how to realize that I'm beloved.

Just some of the ones I've been listening to lately. Check them out, maybe they'll amaze you like they did me.