Lately, I've been looking to Jesus for more than religion. I've been looking to Him for comfort, friendship, love. Instead of seeing Him as a God, I see Him as more of a friend. He wants to help me with everything and I've been trying to see that more. To see that He is the only friend that will be in my life forever, who will never leave me or hurt me. The only best friend who will never let me down, like the other people in my life always do and will. To see him also as the lover I've longed for so many times and for so long. He is the lover of my soul and I want to see Him as that. So much of my time I have spent wanting to be loved, wanting to have a boyfriend. A guy who loves me so much and a guy to love. Since nobody else seems to want that with me, I've been seeing Christ as that person. I've been searching His being for that love. And he is, of course, also the only being that will never leave me. He is like... the ultimate boyfriend. And I have Him!
It's kind of a crazy thought, but I've been getting there. I've been seeing Him more and more as such. Which is amazing... Seeing Him intimately is really too amazing to describe. I literally sit there and talk to God! He doesn't always say a whole lot back, but I like it. It's not like prayer, it's just like talking to a friend. I tell Him about me (as if He doesn't already know everything), I tell Him how amazing He is... We just talk. And the little things He does for me... They put me more and more in awe of Him.
Life with God is truly wonderful.
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