2010

Well, it's 2010!

A time for reflection and resolutions. I usually make ten, and this year was no different... Here are mine:

-Learn (or try) something new.

-Do 100 sets a day, as possible, until volleyball starts.

-Finish reading the Bible.

-Be a crazy Christian.

-Enjoy life more.

-Become a reader again.

-Dance more (learn to dance?).

-Be fearless.

-Memorize something for me.

(You may notice that's only nine... Well, I'm simply not going to write the tenth on here. I don't want the whole world to know.)

This year I did a little something new. I took my list of resolutions from last year and on the back I wrote stuff. A lot of stuff. All my regrets and hurts from last year; all the stuff I wanted to leave in 2009. I then took that list and burned it... Then scattered the ashes outside. All the while I said a quiet prayer. (All a risky business for someone as clumsy as I am! Don't worry though, I didn't burn the house down like I thought I would.) 2009 is gone and all the hurts with it. This year is a new year and a chance for a new me... A chance I'm going to try to take.

Last year I accomplished 70% of my goals (7 out of 10). This year I hope to accomplish them all, but my goal is at least 80%. Yes, I am weird enough to have two goals: a realistic one and a dreamy one. ha ha

Some of my hopes for the coming year might seem silly to others, but to me they all make sense. Which is all that matters. I don't care if other people don't understand them; I understand every word and that's all that matters. After all, they are my resolutions, not someone else's.

So, here's to a hopeful and prospective 2010. I hope that it's much better than last year... Carrying all the good moments I hope for and now with a new me, an improved me. This is looking good.

So, as a new year begins, my heart is happy and light. I'm satisfied. Things are renewed between me and God and I have a lot of joy going on. I love this feeling... I hope I love the year just as much.

Letters to a Lover

So... I write letters to my husband.

Or, future husband I guess.

It may seem weird... But I love doing it. I feel like it makes him so real. It personifies him... I feel like I know him. Like he's there, but... He's not... It's so hard to explain.

I don't really remember what prompted me to start writing these letters. Whatever it was, I'm thankful for it.. I'm so glad I write them.

I feel like he already has my heart. I already love him... I don't fully understand how that's possible, but it is. I almost feel like if I date someone else I'll be cheating on him... That's how real he seems to me. It's like I can see him, just not clearly. I can almost see his face in front of mine if I picture it; I feel like he's there in front of me, but some veil is separating us. I guess that veil is the fact that I've never met him. ha ha

So, I have letters. Letters that won't be read for some time... That doesn't matter to me though. I hold out hope they will be read someday. And that the man I marry will be happy to read them; that he'll be glad I chose to write them.

New Year, Old Year.

Today is New Year's Eve. Usually, I wait until later to think about resolutions, but there's one that I've already made... It will probably be the hardest one, but I guess it has to happen. For once, I'm going to take the advice that everyone gives me: I'm going to think of myself. Not them. Which sounds bad, but it makes sense to me.

I'm actually going to take the advice of my mother and friend that I haven't wanted to. I don't know what else to do. I don't want to take their advice, but I think it's necessary.

This will be my least favorite Resolution. I think that this year I'm going to free myself from all of the pain and complete suckishness of 2009. 2009 basically sucked. I want to leave that year of crap behind me and get on with my life.

Here's to either a lot better or a completely terrible 2010. Yippee.

Renew

Last night I kind of had a moment. I was starting to freak about... Well, a lot of stuff. Pretty much everything. It ended out well though... I renewed my relationship with God.

Now, I feel so much... lighter. Happier. I don't really know. Everything I see just reminds me of God and His love for me... It's amazing. The snow piling up outside makes me think of how He has cleansed my heart. Even better, songs just... I don't know.

I was listening to Forever (Chris Brown) and it just made things better. For some reason I had a different outlook on it. I felt like I was looking at it with God singing it to me. Which may sound weird, but I'm pretty weird.

So now I just have this image of me and God, dancing together. To some, this probably sounds creepy and weird. To me, it's a comfort. A promise.

Church.

Sometimes I just get so frustrated with churches and religion.

I feel like churches are the most clique-y places ever. We're supposed to be one body of believers, but instead it seems like a place where everyone just... I don't know. I can't really put my finger on it, but I just don't like churches sometimes.

And don't even get me started with religion... Sheesh. I love Christ, but I'm not so sure of the Christians. Again, I don't really know what it is... I just don't like the term "religion" or "Christian" all that much.

Questions, questions, questions...

Lately I've had so many questions running through my mind. None of them seem to have answers, and maybe I never CAN find answers for them. Nonetheless, they're there and they're furstrating the heck out of me.

I have such struggles with trust. It takes a really long time (in general) for someone to fully befriend me to the point where I trust them completely. And in general, once someone has lost my trust it's not often fully regained.

So, where do I draw the line? When do I know whether to stop trying to trust them that much again and realize it will never be the same? Is there such a time? When should I say no (something very hard for me to do) and when should I try to keep trucking through? I just don't know anymore. I just don't know. I don't even know what things are really there, things that legitimitely should hurt me, and what things I'm just being overly sensitive about. When do I put my foot down and so no, and when do I hold back and rethink things?

Oh, how I hate confusion and unanswerable questions. Oh, how I hate conflict. Oh, how I hate all of this.

School Dance

Last night was my first high school dance. Wonderful... and yet, not so wonderful.

I was having a complete and total blast. Dancing like a fool with everyone else in three inch heels (I'm amazed by what I can do in heels...). That is, until the slow dances came. I would dance with my gal friends, but it's not really the same thing. I had hoped that maybe a guy would ask me to dance, but no such luck. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. Unfortunately, I did get my hopes up; which only made my night worse when nobody did. After awhile I became kind of a downer to my friends I think. I feel bad about that.

I guess when you have such high expectations about something, they usually can't live up to them...

New Perspective

Winning isn't always a victory, and losing isn't always a defeat.

...just some words of wisdom to remember. A new perspective to see.
(learned from the old T.V. show "Doogie Howser, M.D.")

Sometimes....

Lately I have been so frustrated. I can't seem to tell if it's just me being overly sensitive for some reason or if what I see and feel is actually legit. Especially with friends. I feel like I'm being left out with everyone and that I don't belong anywhere... I have someone I can talk to for the most part, but no one I can REALLY REALLY honestly TALK to about things like I used to.

I just don't know what to do. I want things to go back to normal... whatever 'normal' is.

Star of Bethlehem

http://bethlehemstar.net/

I haven't actually had the time to look at the site yet, but I watched a video thing about the guy who put it together at youth group last night and it was amazing. So I thought I'd put up the site address.

God is truly amazing.

Abortion.

http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Evils%20in%20America/Abortion%20is%20Murder/horror_of_abortion.htm

Lately, abortion has been no my mind a lot. Set off by the status update of one of my friends. It is such a sad thing to me. For some reason, abortion just really gets to me. Which is good, I guess. Above is a link to a website about abortion... As a warning, it contains some graphic details and pictures.

It's very touching, but might be hard to view. It was for me, that's for sure. By the end of the site, I was bawling like, well, a baby. I think it was good to read though and I would encourage others to read it as well; especially people who might be pro-choice.

Anyway. Just thought I"d put the link up, it's a good one.

*Pro-Life Forever*

Social Experiments

So, I have some pretty out-there ideas.

I like to observe. People, mostly. I love people-watching: I find it so interesting to see what people do, basically; and think about why they do what they do. Maybe it's the psychologist in me coming out.

I also have a lot of random ideas. I really would love to fake a teenage pregnancy. Not for the attention, that's not it at all. I want to do it to see what people who have this happen to them go through, to see how people will react. Especially since I go to a Christian school. I would find it fascinating... I don't think I could do it though for fear of the wrath of my classmates. Once I'm done, I don't want them to think I did it for the attention. I don't think many, if any, of the students would understand why I'd want to do it.

Tonight I was also thinking about sitting at a bus stop. Not just that, but let's keep moving for a little while. Awhile ago during class we were reading a story for devos. It was about a woman who handed cards to others, proclaiming Jesus. I would love to do something similar. I would love to just sit at a bus stop in the cities and wait for people to come along. Strike up a conversation, hand them a card. See where God takes it from there. Who knows if this dream will ever come true either... But hey, a girl can fantasize.

Fight or Flight

Most people have heard of the fight or flight response in animals. or people. Now, when I'm scared by something I usually freeze. That whole deer-in-the-headlights thing. Let me clarify: when I said scare, I meant by something physical. Such as a person jumping out of nowhere wearing a gorilla suit and yelling or something.

But I think maybe I have the same response with other things that scare me. When I get stressed out... I sort of freeze up as well. I freak, often hyperventilate, and get all flustered and such. Now, it's like the deer is also crying in those headlights. Which really helps nothing... those tears aren't going to get that car to stop any quicker. Maybe it'll even make them come closer to see if that deer they see is actually crying (thoughts might be: "whoa, can deer cry?!?!). And freaking out like that doesn't help my problems at all. Still, that's how my body seems to deal with things. I hate it, but can't seem to overcome it. I've even had one of these breakdowns during class, which was terrible. People were staring: I hate when people stare at me. Which made me start to get even more freaked out.

So, here I find myself. In my room at 10 a.m. on a tuesday. A school day. A day I should be at school, learning and such. Instead, I'm laying in bed blogging. Why? Because I freaked. Over little things, like a B in PE and not getting anything at sports awards night. And bigger things, like that boy who I'll never see again. Which is actually also a little thing.

So here's to the deer. I can totally relate: I'm not one of those people who complain saying "why can't those dang deer just run out of my way?!" because I know how it is to freeze. I'm sure the deer like it even less than the drivers... I know that I hate it.

Single-enity Serenity

So I was adding flair on facebook (which seems to be about the only thing I do on there nowadays... haha) when one happened to catch my eye...

So, I'm single. With no intentions of looking for a guy...

this time, I'm letting him find me.

For a few months now, I've been craving being in a relationship. I've wanted to date someone so badly... wanted someone to love me. It hasn't helped that it seems like everywhere I go I see couples walking together, holding hands and being all happy and cutesy together. Seeing it just makes me want it all the more. To add to this, my best friend is dating this guy that she had the hugest crush on for like all of the school year (I hope you don't mind me saying this, best friend. haha). I see them together all the time, just like I see the couples that I people-watch, and it yeilds the same results. Plus, I hear all the stories of what they did, and hear about the dates they go on. She tells me all the ups and downs... and I just want it.

But then I saw this flair. I'm single, as I have been my entire life (yes, I'm one of the few who have entered high school without having had dated a single soul). I'm also not used to not liking someone... I've only liked two guys my entire life, but I liked one the majority of my years and the other for most of the rest of them. So, I've spent this time trying to find some new guy to crush on (maybe even date? fingers were crossed and prayers said many a night). All that it's resulted in is frustration over not being able to find anyone.

Then this flair got me thinking (I bet the person who created it had no clue something like this would happen because of it) and I finally came to a decision. I want this to be true for me. I am sick of always mentally studying guys and searching for one who fits all my guidelines and that is possibility for crush material... I want to just sit back, wait, and enjoy the time I have to be single like I've heard you're supposed to do. I want a guy to come to me, in God's timing.

the One

θυμηθείτε τη μία

in case you don't know Greek, that means "remember the One." At least according to my igoogle application that translates for you... I usually double check stuff, but I'm not in the mood for that right now. so if it's wrong, correct me (I'm sorry!) and I will change it. though I'm guessing of the few (if any) people who read this, next to none (or, more likely, nobody) knows Greek. congrats if you do, it's a wonderful language- one I'd love to learn.

anyway, that paragraph is mostly off-topic. the first sentence is about all that's ON topic... so anyway, here I go. About to plunge into my topic for this blog, one that will probably turn into ramblings. haha

...

wow. I'm not sure where to begin... I don't really want to share the whole story behind what gave me this sort of "realization" (that I've realized before, but it's been awhile...) because it's pretty personal. which makes it a bit harder to explain it all... but anyway...

...

how crazy is it that there is someone out there, some guy, who God created and designed to be the perfect match for me? How crazy is it that there is someone amidst the (what, 3.3 billion? let's go with that) 3.3 BILLION people who inhabit this planet that I am designed for, who I am MADE to MEET... who is perfect for me... some guy who is living his own life (most likely sleeping, seeing as it's like 1:30 am.... unless he lives somewhere else in the world... anywho), most likely totally unaware that I even exist. As am I totally blanked to who HE is... wow. It's just a thousand kinds of crazy. haha

I mean, God has things pretty well planned. Think of how carefully He must formulate and plan each of the 116,000 babies I've heard estimated are born each day... that's a LOT. and He has a plan for each and every one of them. And to think He figured out what was going to go down in MY life, to think He planned and made some other person who is like perfectly suited just for me, and I for him, so that one day we can get married... what a wonderful day that will be.

Well, that turned into a lot of ramblling.... but... oh well. had to get some stuff off of my chest. So for now... I think I might put on some chapstick and head to bed- maybe to dream of the One made just for me... who knows.

Musings on Life....

Life.

It's something that everyone goes through, but few actually live. So, what is the key that those who actually live their life have found? Or is there really a key thing at all- are some people just born with some ability?

Whatever the case, life is accompanied with millions of questions, and barely any of them will get answered while you still need them answered.

But what if life is just filled with failure? What if it's just disappointment after disappointment, with only sprinklings of happiness in between? What if nothing good comes out of the life you lived? What if you're not remembered by anyone after you die, what if you die alone with no legacy to leave? What if everything you thought you knew, everything you trusted and believed in, just turns out to be a lie? What if it's true that real life doesn't have fairytales?

Well, don't expect this blog to contain any answers. At least not yet. Right now my heart and mind are riddled only with questions, and nobody seems to have an answer. Granted the only people I can talk about this with are people who are younger than me, but still. Nobody seems to have an answer, and maybe that's just part of this thing we call life.

Comparisons

I know that I just recently entered a blog, but I had a little inspiration from my friend, in an unexpected form. in frustration, she told me to stop comparing myself to her. which made me think (oh no, here I go again... thinking. not usually a good thing.).

why do we always compare ourselves to others? "she is so much prettier than I am" "why can't I have her sense of style" "he is a way better football player than I'll ever be" "he can get all the girls, and I can't even get one" "she always knows what to say" and so many more things flood our minds and control how we think and feel, at least on occasion. personally it happens to me all of the time.

while this might seem "normal" to people, it shouldn't be. we shouldn't be comparing ourselves to our fellow man, who are obviously not perfect, but rather to Jesus. after all, he was the only perfect person to ever live.

so how do we do that, if he's not even alive today? well he may not be visible, but we can still talk to him. he's always listening and willing to help us out. digging into God's Word is pretty much the best way, I think. reading up on all the things that Jesus did, and trying to apply them to our lives. again, I'll make reference to Philippians 2, verses 5-11 about.

so instead of thinking of all the people around you and trying to morph into what they appear to be, focus on who Jesus was. be like Jesus, not like man.

Rain and Forgiveness

so today we got a some rain! it wasn't raining very hard, but I just leaped at the opportunity to do some dancing in the rain- a rare event here, where we seem to get surprisingly little rain. so I ran outside, plopped a towel by the door, picked up an umbrella (that would only get used sparingly, of course) and the fun began.

I had just finished watching Mamma Mia so I was singing (well more whispering) the lyrics to (what else?) the song Mamma Mia, as much as I could remember, and making up choreography to go with it. Using the umbrella, which came in quite handy. I had a grand old time, and finished my "musical number" off with some puddle jumping.

And I couldn't help but think about the rain. I know, I know, I think way too much.
Rain is so refreshing... and it made me think of how Jesus' blood washes away the sin in our lives (metaphorically) just as the rain washed and cleansed me (at least a little). how undeserving we all are of his love and mercy, but yet he offered it up so willingly... without putting up a fuss in the least... because he loved us that much. Wow.

and it all fit in perfectly with what I had been thinking about earlier today, during church. In sunday school we had read Philippians chapter 2 (I'd encourage anyone reading this to check it out) and then during church I had been thinking about some stuff... so I'd like to bring you with me on the thought train that I rode this morning.

okay, here we go. First, picture the worst death you could imagine going through. Whatever that may be. you would never want to have to go through that, now would you? if you would want to, you must not have picked the worst death you could think of. so keep thinking.

so, now think of this. think of the person you love the most in the entire world. for some of you, that might be a mom or dad, a sister or brother... for others of you who don't have a family (or aren't close to them, such as the case with me) think of a friend. if you're a loner, think of a pet, anything. you get the point I think.

now, would you love that person (or animal... don't want to be exclusive here! haha) enough to die that death you had thought of before? if someone came up to you and said you had to die that death or they would kill that person (or animal) the same way, what would you pick?

most of us would pick living. but Jesus didn't. and that is a truly amazing thing to me.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xO9MngQqa4

Updates (5-17-09)

wow, it's been awhile since I've blogged! better get started on some updates.

well, the other night I watched Titanic. oh my gosh, it's SO sad! I was bawling my eyes out. but it is so good at the same time... aren't all sad movies? I think that it's the saddest movie I have ever seen, and I've seen my share of sad movies. I was probably a sight to see, sitting at my laptop bawling my eyes out over this movie. haha :]

well, I'm not really sure what else has happened... but I can recount what happened yesterday, which was a pretty fun day!

well I'll start with a bit of background information. in school we have drama class, and our grades (7 and 8) had two plays: whodunit? and The Scottish Play. I was in the latter, but I had a tinyyyy part in the first (I got to scream and faint, then be carried out on a stretcher... twas fun. haha). so anyway, we had rehearsals off-site (at a church where our performances would be) and the rides could be very entertaining.
So yeah. background info pretty much complete...
So yesterday I babysat in the morning, then awhile after that some friends came over and we hung out, then I went to drama performances.... all after getting 6-7 hours of sleep. So I was majorly exhausted... but performances went great, so that was good! at least what I saw of them. if we weren't in the play we couldn't watch the other ones, so I didn't get to see most of the other plays. But what I did see was good, and I heard awesome reviews. yay!

and now I'm working on finding information on Israel. why? In school we're having a world culture fair, and we have to find a bunch of information on a country assigned to you and a partner (my partner and I got Israel). Explanation over. haha.... so anyway, we have this list of all this information we're supposed to find, and I can't find some of it. like anywhere... so hopefully my partner has better luck than I do on that! I'm getting so sick of this, and we're supposed to have all our information found by tomorrow so that we can start putting it onto poster boards for when we present.... but it's been sort of interesting I guess to find out all this stuff about another country.

well anyway, I had better get back to homework... bluck.

6-7-09

So..... today is May 7. national day of prayer.... also a pretty bad day for me. quite bad really. one year ago today, something changed my life forever. so obviously I wasn't too happy today. But after my friends noticed I had to push it all back, which probably just made it worse. I don't want to ruin their day just because of my own stupid problems.
I mean, the people around me shouldn't suffer just because of something that is making me suffer. instead of focusing on myself, I should be bringing a smile to someone else's face. right? it's just emotions. they're all in your head.

anyway. since I was having such a bad day, I couldn't focus on the bright side.... my friends finally get back from ethiopia tomorrow. I'm so excited to see them, pumped really, but I just can't think about it with what's going on. It makes me feel like a bit of a jerk.

Well that's all. I felt like I needed to write something since I haven't in quite awhile, but I am just not in the mood.

Sick... ick. (5-2-09)

So.... I'm sick. and it totally sucks.

First, we thought I might have strep.... but we sat in the hospital like four hours just to find out I didn't have strep. So I was glad for that, went to school yesterday (I had stayed home on Thursday) and had an okay time (I still felt sorta sick). Then last night for youthgroup we went to a Twins game (which was TOTALLY AWESOME) but I couldn't really enjoy it because I felt sorta sick and tired and my eye was acting up.... I get home to find out I most likely have pink eye. whoo hoo.

So I'm feeling quite miserable. There was so much I wanted to do this weekend, and now it looks like I can't do any of it! :( though I did some research, and if my pinkeye is caused by bacteria (which now I'm hoping it is) I could get antibiotics and it'll probably be gone in a day or two... which would be nice. Because I REALLY don't want to miss more school- plus I have a lot of soccer stuff this weekend (though I suppose I wouldn't be well enough in time for it anyway... :( Ish.)

Added to all this, there was a reported case of swine flu in our county. So now I'm really scared I'm going to get that.

Wow,.... I think I'm turning into a germaphobe....

Withdrawal? (4-27-09)

I think I'm having friend-withdrawal. Haha... A couple of my really close friends are gone for two weeks and I miss them SO MUCH! I don't know what I am going to do these next to weeks... :( I've nearly cried like three to five times during school and actually have cried once I got home. who knows how these next couple weeks will go.... but I'm counting down; (I guess it's a bit under two weeks...) 11 days more! so many :(
*sigh.*
and to top it off... I feel like they don't like me so much anymore. maybe I'm just overreacting or something but.... I just feel like they like my friends more than I (even the ones they used to hate they're clicking with now) and so that doesn't really make things any better. I guess I'm just frustrated and this withdrawal thing is making it all worse.

anywho.

So after school today I met with my mentor, and we went to Caribou Coffee. that was prettty sweet! Got my mind off of my friends for a bit.... and onto God and his amazingness. (He is quite amazing. really!)

Anywho, I better go... do some homework :\ maybe it will help get my mind off them some more... I feel like I miss so many people right now! ish. I just need to talk to them..... all of them....

*sigh.*

Weekend... 4-25-09

I have a pretty packed couple days this weekend! Well mostly just yesterday and today, Sunday I'm not up to much (that I know of).

So yesterday I had an indoor soccer game! whoo. We won, but barely. The other team didn't have any subs, and they were awesome so we probably would have lost if they had had subs. haha :) But I was getting super frustrated because our coach wouldn't play some of us! Well really just like three of us: one of them being me. He just rotated in the really good players, and it was really frustrating. Oh well.

Then today! I just got back from a Student Leadership Meeting... On the way home we stopped at a store quick, and then my sister and her husband are coming up to visit so we can celebrate birthdays! (my sisters have really close birthdays; the 23 and 24 of April.) So that will be fun... Then later today I have another indoor game! So a pretty busy day; thought I'd take some free time to blog since I didn't have time to yesterday.

Sunday I don't really have much going on- pretty much church and homework. Hopefully I'll have some time in there to clean (whoo! fun!) and maybe kick around a soccer ball a bit or something. Who knows!

So yeah... my weekend! Better head off now....!

wow. just wow. 4-23-09

Wow! God is like crazy. I've just been realizing that lately.

Just now I was eating ice cream and watching the last glimpses of the sun as it finished its descent below the gently waving tree tops. Wind blew all around me, teasing my hair and kissing my skin. I couldn't help but praise God for his glorious creation! The past few days have been so amazingly beautiful, the weather has been just gorgeous. Though I was expecting to do some dancing in the rain tonight, it cleared right up and I had this awesome time instead (though I still wish that I could have gotten some rain time in).

"For his invisible attributes, namely, his ternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, ion the things that have been made. So they are without excuse." -Romans 1:20

Bad Day 4-21-09

Ick. So today was a pretty bad day for me. I don't know why it even went that bad... I mean, there are several things that made it bad that I can point out, but somehow when I look back it just seems worse.
But yeah. I woke up this morning and felt sick, and woke up with a headache; which always makes your day worse (or at least mine). Then math just really frustrated me today, and I'm not really sure why. Sometimes math just gets to me. Then I got really stressed out during science over a couple things... like, majorly. Yeahh... drama and health were sweet though, especially health (cuz we're learning about the brain and I LOVE that stuff!).... After school, though, I had to stay after for math. ick. Now I'm suuuuper hungry. And there isn't anything to eat, because my parents made something for dinner I don't like and we don't have anything else to eat around (as usual); super frustrating. Blah.
And I'm not looking forward to tonight either.... Seems like it'll be pretty suckish. I really wanted to go to my friend's softball game, but my other friend didn't want to go so I didn't... Because I didnt' want to go alone. And then I'm not going to have anyone to talk with on IM tonight so I'll be lonely.... And I still have a headache, am really hungry, and tired; so I don't want to do my homework. Especially since the majority of it is math, and I hate math. (except for a few parts of it, like sine cosine and tangent)

So anyway. I'm guessing ya'll had GREAT fun reading my rantings about my bad day... I just really needed to get it out though, and (as I said before) I don't have anyone to IM to it about... haha

God bless!

Baseball Game! 4-20-09

Hey! So I just got back from a baseball game.... the first one I've seen from my new school! whoo! It was SO cold though... and raining sporadically, very strong wind.... brr! haha. So my two friends and I were huddled up in a mass of blankets... which was pretty fun :)
I have no clue who won though! I can't figure it out. and it seemed like the last part of the game went by really fast. Or maybe I just don't know baseball.... There are 9 innings, right? Oh maybe I'm making a total fool of myself... but I thought there were 9! And they told us at 5 innings and then it went by so fast after that! Wow... it was odd. But anywho.
Despite the cold, it was SO fun! :D

todayy.... 4-19-09

so, today was pretty awesome! well, at times. At other times... not so much.

Well, I spent the night at my friend's house on Saturday night... then on Sunday, we went to Sunday School and then back to her house to get ready for our indoor soccer game and then head to a game that was going on before ours, to see a bunch of our friends play. Which was fun.... but sadly, we lost our match :( This was my first loss since I had played (I missed the first two games because I was on vacation)! And I was pretty angry with myself. I did not do very well. I had like three shots that were practically open, just the goalie in the goal, and I could only hit like the surrounding area around the goal. gr. And then I gave the other team a goal because I couldn't hit the ball with my foot (bad hand-foot coordination I guess... haha... I tend to miss hitting the ball a lot. I'm very uncoordinated). So anyway, I was not happy about that. At all. (I'm EXTREMELY hard on myself.)

But after the game I got to be with my BROTHER (who finally got back) and one of my sister's and her husband! so that was awesome! Only for a little while though, because my sister and her husband had to get back (they live about an hour from our house).

After that my mom had to get something with her phone fixed, so I went with and did my homework in the car (about a 30-45 minute drive, one way) and when she was done with that we went to TARGET! And I got a bunch of stuff for chapel in school (and just to wear for the heck of it! I love dressing up)... I got a dress and two skirts, plus a tank top... I'm so excited to wear them! haha :)

So now I'm just hanging out, finishing up some homework, IMing my friend, and blogging! What a wonderful weekend :)

God Bless, and thanks for reading!

Bolt! 4/18/09

Oh my gosh, so I just watched the movie Bolt... it was terrific! I totally loved it! I think it might be added to my list of favorite movies :)

Some people might think it's just "a little-kid movie" but it was SWEET! I don't care if it was :) and it was so funny. I felt like a bit of a dork, because I was sitting there laughing in my room and I was all alone... but it was just so funny :)

Anyway, just wanted something to blog about. So there is a bit of something ;)

OH YEAH! I'm also SO excited: my brother is getting back today!!! hopefully at least. But anyway, yeah! He's been gone for like 7 or 9 months... and now he's getting back! yay! I'm so excited to finally see him again :D :D :D

God is Good

Wow. God is truly amazing.... I have been really realizing this anew lately, like the last couple days. He is so good, and I guess I forget that a lot. He's always gonna be there to provide for me, and offer his protection... his hope... his love... his forgiveness...

And I can't believe He'd do for me what He did.... sending Jesus as a sacrifice for ME? wow. Jesus dying on the cross (like the worst death EVER!) for ME? wow. how could he love me this much?

God is good. To put it simply. So good I can't even begin to comprehend it! I love Him so much! He provides for me through all situations. I don't need to explain to him or make excuses. He knows me so well- better than I know me! He did make me after all.

I love you Lord!

First Entry... 4/17/09

Ah! My first blog! And my first entry therein.... Exciting! haha :)

Well, where to begin. I guess I'll explain why I really started blogging in the first place.
I guess it could trace back to when I was younger. I saw people blogging in movies (such as Raise Your Voice... at least I think that was the one) and always thought it seemed like a sweet thing to do, and toyed with the idea of starting a blog. I guess I just never got around to it... Then recently, my friend Lexi found this wonderful place called blogspot.com and made herself a blog. From there you can probably guess what happened: she showed hers to me, then urged me to make one myself, and that combined with my memories of longing to have on in the past all added up to me finally making one!
And it took me probably two hours to finally come up with a name for it! haha. I finally threw a bunch of ideas around with Lexi, and she chose one for me... The one that I actually had just said as a joke! (since it seemed like a take-off of her site name, Simply Lexi).

So there is that. The (probably not-so-interesting) history of how I got a blog!
well, for now....
I'm out!